Putting down roots
by csThor
Summary: Kirney Slane comes back to Corellia in time for Midwinter and realizes that holidays never meant much to her ... and what she's been evading for the last two years.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: This is a little harmless fic I began writing in my christmas vacation while battling _Darth Boredom_. It's set about two years after **"Reevaluation"**. In that story Myn Donos had to reevaluate his life so this time it's Kirney Slane who will have to solve a small emotional problem of hers.  
Much of the setting is based on my own ideas, including a number of things about Midwinter (= christmas in the GFFA) and the importance people attribute to it. I admit having borrowed ideas, concepts and details left and right and I hope the respective folks don't mind me doing that.

Enough of my spiel. Have fun. :)

* * *

**_Putting down roots_**

Dramatis Personae:

Kirney Slane (aka Gara Petothel aka Lara Notsil; human female from Coruscant)  
Selan Donos (human male from Corellia – father of Myn Donos - OC)  
Jaleela Donos (human female from Corellia – mother of Myn Donos - OC)_  
_Kolot (modified Ewok male from Endor)  
Tonin (R2-series astromech)

**Coronet City  
(9.8 ABY - 3 months post "Isard's Revenge")**

Closing her thick jacket she watched the last two flatbed cargo skimmers disappear in the general direction of the spaceport's main storage facility and shivered. Temperatures had dropped a good ten to fifteen degrees in the past few days, from 'almost cold' to 'decidedly freezing', and an icy wind swept across the flat duracrete surface of the tarmac.

"Hate cold. Reminds me of the cage."

She cast a glance over her shoulder and saw Kolot pulling his favorite blanket around his shoulders. He seemed to shiver in the cold breeze.

"You've got fur," she said with a puzzled frown. "You shouldn't be cold."

He shrugged, a completely human gesture and again she was struck by just how far he'd been pushed away from his Ewok origins, and muttered, "Toxins frayed nerves. Have cold feet in space, too." His stomach rumbled, a deep growl that was audible even through the cacophony of noises a busy spaceport could create.

"But apparently they omitted your middle section," Kirney quipped and raised an eyebrow. "Your appetite is worse than anything I've ever seen and that says a lot."

The Ewok affectionately patted his stomach. "Kolot still growing. Needs energy."

That drew an un-ladylike snort. "The only direction you'll grow in is your width if you keep eating this much."

He looked at her and she could see a twinkle in his strange black eyes. "Kolot no needs to impress females. No need for training."

The look she shot him was mock venomous. "You think I'm trying to impress males with my looks?"

Kolot shook his head. "Not several. Just one." His eyes twinkled again and he added, "Besides males are already reading Kirney's palm."

She sent him a withering glare, one which bounced off without any apparent effect, and half-threatened, "For that quip alone I'll put you on half rations for the next week."

He glared back. "Kirney evil."

"And don't you forget it," she retorted with a wicked grin. She looked up the ship's lowered boarding ramp and banged a fist against the hull. "Tonin," she yelled into the ship. "Where are you?"

A decidedly irritated squawk answered her, followed by a litany of beeps, whistles and hoots which betrayed agitation.

"Come on out, Squirt. I don't want to stand around in the cold here any longer than necessary."

The round-capped astromech rolled down the ramp and squealed.

Kirney cast a quick glance at his monitor for a translation, as much practice she had deciphering his binary speech she wasn't able to get most of what the little droid said, and crossed her arms. "Clamp down on your vocabulator, Tonin. You were built for ops in hard vacuum and freezing cold, I wasn't. Put a bit of speed on, will you?"

Tonin rolled off the ramp so that Kirney could close it and twittered sharply.

She narrowed her green eyes at the astromech. "What did I say about vocabulators?"

The droid blatted rudely, swiveled around and moved off towards the main flight terminal. Humans had no idea how strenous a task keeping oneself functional was for an astromech. He needed an oil bath … badly.

Kirney rolled her eyes and punched the lock-down code into the keypad to secure the ship. It wasn't the simplistic lock she'd frowned at two years ago. She'd enhanced security greatly, adding layers of defenses against attacks of even the most skilled of slicers. _Of course being a master slicer myself has helped immensely_, she thought smugly and stifled a grin. Anyone who'd try to steal her beloved ship would be in for a surprise.  
She looked up at the high fin rising above the ridgeline of the hull and felt pride at the sight. The _Fair Trade_ was a good ship. She and Kolot had modified it greatly. They'd removed the concussion missile launcher and the ion cannons, no need to antagonize overzealous government officials with an armament like this, enhanced the tiny chamber and the bunk she slept in, tweaked the sublight engines and hyperdrive as well as reconfigured the hold to allow for more cargo to be transported.

Kolot's voice drew her from her musings. "What time?"

She cast a quick glance at her wrist chrono, but the blasted thing didn't make sense for it showed just after midnight. "Sith," she swore. "It's still on Hapan time. I forgot to set it back to Corellian time."

The Ewok scowled. "We better hurry. Need to shop for supplies. Shops close this evening for a whole week."

"Huh?" Kirney didn't understand. "Why that?"

He simply looked at her. "Forgotten Midwinter Festival?"

She slapped her forehead with her palm. "Oh Sithspit! That's _this_ weekend? I thought it was the one after."

"Nope." The Ewok shook his head. "This one. Kirney better move or shops will be closed. We need food."

"But not much," she said with a smirk. "You're on half rations, remember?" Then she laughed at his indignant huff and picked up a parcel she'd placed at her feet. "Let's get going then. I'll drop your off at home since I need to deliver this to Myn's parents. Take a look into the cooling unit and make a list of things we need to buy."

Kolot moved to her side as they made their way over to the main terminal, looked at the parcel and tilted his head curiously. "What this?"

"Something Myn's father wanted," she explained. "Two bales of Hapan silk for his wife as Midwinter gift."

"Ah. So when Kirney left spaceport cantina at Hapes she went looking for this."

"Yup." She patted the packaged cloth and flashed Kolot a proud smile. "Took a bit of haggling but in the end the vendor decided that selling it for the price he charges locals was a brilliant idea."

The Ewok chuckled. "Threatened him, did you? Thought Kirney would be more diplomatic."

"Tonin's the resident diplomat," she teased. Her merriment died and she half-snarled, "After dealing with those stuck-up Hapan trade officials my stock of diplomacy was drained."

"Kolot begins to understand why better stay on ship most of the time." He shook his head ruefully. "Kolot no patience. Afraid someone would have died already if Kolot had to deal with all those people."

Kirney gave him a friendly shove. "And _you_ wonder why I refuse to give you a blaster?"

The Ewok snorted and fell silent.

*** * ***

The multi-story underground speeder park underneath the main flight terminal was just part of a much bigger complex which also housed the planet's largest shopping mall. Built one and a half centuries ago it was a masterpiece of marketing and public relations. In the center the four main turbolift shafts ran all the way down to the large MagLev railway station fifty meters below the surface. The lifts opened into the multi-story shopping mall which enclosed the turbolifts in a circular pattern. To reach the speeder park you had to go through the shopping mall, past a long procession of shopping windows and what they offered, and the designers had made sure that a person heading for the exits had to cover at least half of the shopping area in each of the four quadrants before he got to his destination. In the outer, the third circle of the complex the speeder park enclosed an area of about twenty square klicks on ten levels. Divided into four quadrants it was the largest canopied parking area in the Corellian system.  
They rode down to level five in one of the turbolifts and managed to extricate themselves from the lift cabin crammed full of tourists and spacers on leave. Kolot attracted a fair amount of curiosity but the two years of being exposed to the galaxy had given him the ability to ignore the stares he got wherever he showed up. The curious stares, however, didn't stop when the lift doors slammed shut again.

"This is worse than Coruscant rush hour," Kirney remarked as she studied the crowd filling the walkways and shopping lanes. She saw families trying to drag their children away from the brightly lit and garishly decorated windows, couples strolling hand in hand along the walkways, men and women hurrying by trying to find last-minute gifts for their loved ones. She glanced at Kolot and Tonin and added, "You better stay close or we'll loose sight of each other in this mess."

Tonin squawked indignantly. He knew exactly where they were headed to as he'd saved the exact coordinates where they'd parked their speeder. He would not get lost.

"Which is exactly why we need to stay together," Kirney said and stifled the urge to roll her eyes. _Moody astromechs_, she thought and gave a mental headshake. "I for sure would loose my way in here."

Kolot snorted and patted the astromech's domed top. "Tonin now promoted to navigator. Congrats."

Tonin swiveled his optical sensor and focused it on the Ewok. Then he emitted a high-pitched screech which sounded very much like a blaster shot, and repeated the noise twice more.

"No disintegrations, please," Kirney said mock sternly. "It would be impossible to replace my chief pilot." Then she ushered them forward.

Tonin led them towards the right-hand shopping lane, the _Outer Walkway_ as numerous signs stated. They passed toy shops besieged by children flattening their little noses against the windows, little tapcafs, stores for consumer electronics, a perfumary leaking a heavy mix of various scents and even a large lingerie shop with a small crowd of uncomfortable-looking men waiting outside. But finally, ultimately, they arrived at the passage leading into the speeder park, Northeastern Quadrant, Level 5.

Kirney gave a rueful smile and let get gaze roam across the multitude of airspeeders, gravtrucks and speederbikes. "I have no idea where to start looking for our crate," she admitted. "And I parked it just a week ago."

Kolot chuckled quietly. "Kirney no find fresher without navsat help."

"Quarter rations," she growled and sent him a glare, but the Ewok waved her off.

"Empty threat," he said lightly and moved to follow Tonin.

She heaved a sigh and rolled her eyes. There were times when the two were frustrating her immensely, but most of the time the banter was refreshing and reminded her of the loose tongues of her former Wraith squadmates. And hey - who could claim to have an Ewok friend who talked back and could swear in more languages you could ever learn in a lifetime? A tiny grin spread on her face and she hurried to follow her two most unique friends. She could already hear them bickering again ...

"Hey, Kirney!"

The voice startled her and she whirled around. A man was approaching her, a big smile on his face. He was tall, easily as tall as Kell Tainer, but a lot scraggier due to the lack of muscle. He sported a mess of light brown hair with curls some women would kill for and his confident swagger betrayed the native Corellian. "Now look what the Hutts dragged in," she drawled but softened it with a smile of her own. "Jarrath the Wet Rag."

He grimaced at the use of the less than flattering nickname, which he'd gotten after a most unfortunate incident some twenty months ago. Back then Kirney had been a newcomer in the community of freighter and shuttle pilots and target for more or less clumsy displays of affection from a number of more or less inebriated pilots. One evening, she'd enjoyed a quick dinner and an ale in one of the tapcafs, Jarrath had decided that she should sample some of his charms and had not been put off by her very definite refusal. He had pressed the issue, his bravado fueled by a considerable input of alcohol earlier that evening, and ... well. It was sufficient to say that a three-hour surgical procedure to replace the crushed kneecap and two days in Bacta had managed to repair the damage she'd done. After that noone dared to challenge the lithe woman this way again.

"You back in time for the holidays?" he asked and shook her hand.

"Honestly?" She made a wry face. "I thought it was next weekend, not this one."

His eyes widened in mock indignation. "You forgot the most sacred holiday of your home planet?" He shook his head and declared dramatically, "I'm _shocked_!"

"Remember I lost my parents early," Kirney tried to defend herself, "and when they were gone I wasn't keen on celebrating the holidays."

He lost his fake expression of disbelief. "Sorry," he muttered contritely. "It's easy to forget that not everyone can grow up in a stable family."

"It's okay," Kirney soothed. "It was a long time ago."

He nodded. "So what are you going to do on the holidays?"

"Me? Nothing. A few decent meals, a few hot showers and a few early nights. That's all."

He eyed her for a moment. "Heard you were on Hapes. Tough days?"

"Yeah," she growled and motioned him to follow her as she resumed walking towards her speeder. "I've seen enough pompous officials to write several holobooks, but the Hapans take the ryshcate."

"Guess why I don't take jobs that involve anything hapan," he said with compassion colouring his voice. "They're so stuck-up that they'd fracture their necks if they tried to glance at their own toes."

She gave a snort of amusement at the mental picture. "That I wouldn't consider a loss." Casting him a glance from the corner of her eyes she asked, "And you? Going home to your parents?"

"Yup." He grinned again and lifted two big shopping bags. "Someone has to spoil my nephew and niece."

"So you risk the wrath of your sister," Kirney retorted in mock amazement and clapped her hands. "Brave boy."

He laughed. "As if she didn't spoil them the rest of the year. It's all facade, all show, I tell you." Just then a wry expression wormed its way on his face and he pointed ahead. "Looks like the old couple is at it again."

Kolot and Tonin stood face to optical sensor in what looked like a staring match. The Ewok didn't blink, didn't move a muscle as he glowered at the astromech.

Kirney rolled her eyes. "Minions of Xendor," she breathed in exasperation. "Not again!"

"How long can they keep this up?"

"Last time they did this," Kirney said and shook her head in amazement, "I had to separate them after three hours."

"No way." Jarrath's voice was definite. "That's impossible."

"Oh, I can assure you it's true. I was watching them the whole time. Kolot didn't move a muscle or blink for three kriffing hours." A frown wormed its way on her face as a new thought took root in her mind. "Sith, I don't even know if Ewoks have to blink at all."

The Corellian burst out laughing. "You're such a cute couple, you know."

"Watch your words, Mister," Kirney shot back with a small glare which turned into a wicked grin. "Want to have children some day?" she asked and modified her voice into a pretty good imitation of Kolot's singsong accent.

Jarrath laughed harder. The words said in the singsong tone Kirney had just imitated had become a joke among Corellian pilots and one not to be used in polite company. A few months ago Kirney and Kolot had been breakfasting in a tapcaf and a dumb pilot had made some snide remarks about the Ewok. Before anyone could react Kolot had snatched the man's blaster from its holster and had shoved the muzzle hard into his opponent's groin. Then he'd muttered the fateful words ... and waited. The spacer had turned white, had stammered an incoherent apology and had fled. Once he'd been out of the door the whole tapcaf had erupted in hysteric laughter.  
"I'd have sold my grandmother to have been there," Jarrath said once he'd managed to subdue his laughter. "That must have been a sight."

"Oh yes." Kirney grinned. "I haven't laughed so hard in a long, long time." Turning her attention back at her two companions she clapped her hands. "Okay, enough of it."

Kolot turned his head and glowered.

Snatching the remote out of a pocket she pointed it at her speeder and unlocked the doors. "Kolot, get in," she ordered and pointed at the co-driver's door. "Do it now or it'll be a week of fasting for you." The Ewok scrambled to comply with her order.

Jarrath snorted. "He really thinks with his stomach."

"And you don't?" Kirney arched an eyebrow. "He just hates the stuff our food processor spits out. It satiates, but ..."

"It ain't real food," he agreed. Then he gestured at the astromech. "Shall I help?"

"That'd be nice." They both grabbed the curiously silent droid and lifted him into the luggage compartment in the back. "Must be really nice to have Jedi powers," Kirney panted.

"Not to mention swinging shiny swords around," Jarrath gibed. He shot a glance at his wrist chrono and said, "Gotta hurry. I want to get to my parents's before the sun sets." He hugged her quickly. "Happy Midwinter, Kirney."

"Happy Midwinter to you, too." Said it, waved and slid into the driver's seat of her speeder.

*** * ***


	2. Chapter 2

*** * ***

After dropping off Kolot at the little apartment they shared, and after his numerous stern reminders that the shops would close in two hours, she made her way over to the house of Myn's parents. She knew the way well, having visited them on numerous occasions, but the traffic was so bad that it took her over twenty minutes just to get there. She settled the airspeeder in a parking slot in front of the garden, grabbed the parcel and locked the vehicle.

"Kirney!" Selan flashed her a big smile when he caught sight of her.

"What are you doing?" she asked curiously and raised an eyebrow at the mess of wires and glowlamps he was trying to attach to a needle tree near the fence.

He gave her a look of mock disapproval. "Don't tell me you don't know about Midwinter traditions."

"I grew up on Coruscant, remember?" She shut the garden door and placed a kiss on Selan's cheek. "Imperials aren't big on emotional holidays and the emphasis on Midwinter is a totally Corellian thing."

He shook his head and said sternly, "I see we have to brush up your education on Corellian customs, young lady. This," he went on and lifted the tangle of cables and glowlamps he'd been trying to sort out, "is, obviously, a set of Midwinter Lights which I managed to twist in knots so badly that I've failed to sort it out so far." He scowled at the offending piece of decoration. "We, Corellians I mean, decorate trees in this fashion as a reminder of the religious roots of the festival. I won't bore you with details, though. Way back real candles were used, but you can imagine what problems they caused."

She snorted. "Yeah, I can imagine. Having your home burnt down in the middle of winter is an exhilarating experience, I bet."

"You're a cynic," Myn's father drawled mockingly. Then he looked pointedly at the parcel she was carrying. "You got it?"

Kirney nodded. "All of it." Shooting a sceptic glance at the house she asked, "She isn't here, is she? I mean, this is supposed to be a gift."

"Don't worry," he soothed her. "She's out with some of her friends. Midwinter party." He rolled his eyes.

"Meaning caf, pastries, cakes and girly talk in big quantities," she shot back and laughed at his protracted sigh.

"You forgot continuous exposure to sickeningly sweet Midwinter music," he drawled and continued to sort out the tangled wires. At least he tried to.

"And _you_ are calling _me_ a cynic?" Kirney narrowed her eyes at the confusing mass of tangled wires, then she reached out and pulled on some ends. And suddenly the chain of glowlights was untangled.

Selan looked baffled. "How did you do that? I've been at it for almost an hour and you look at it for a few seconds and _bang_!"

"Analytical mind," she retorted and tapped a finger against her temple.

"I bet that comes handy," he muttered and began clamping the glowlights to the tree's branches. When he was finished he knelt down to lift an inconspicious piece of lawn, revealed a hidden power outlet and plugged the chain of glowlights in. The tree lit up as the lights came to life.

"Looks good," Kirney decided.

"Why, thank you," Selan drawled wryly. "So, what are you going to do on the holidays?"

"Me? Not much." She shrugged noncommittally. "I'm going to treat myself a few decent meals, a few hot showers and will watch some of these corny holodramas."

He raised a dubious eyebrow at that. "So you aren't going to celebrate the holidays at all, are you?"

She shrugged again. "Never started celebrating holidays. Never gave them much thought, anyway."

Selan shook his head in mock despair. "I see we've got to go a long way to turn you into a real Corellian."

"Huh?"

"A Corellian who doesn't celebrate Midwinter ain't no Corellian." He tilted his head. "Why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow? And bring Kolot along."

Her denial came automatically. "Oh no, I wouldn't want to impose ..."

Selan cut her off. "It's no imposition. It's an offer." He put both of his hands on her shoulders and looked her straight into the face. "Kirney. For all intents and purposes you _are_ family. I see you as my daughter-in-law in everything but name and the only reason that hasn't happened, yet, is because my son is out there fighting a war."

Her eyes widened at his statement, uttered with such conviction that there was no room for doubts left. "Oh," she said lamely. "You think ...?"

"No." Selan shook his head. "I don't _think_, I _know_." Seeing her eyes widen even further he pressed on doggedly. "With the kind of history you two have, do you really think Myn would have bothered meeting up with you again if there wasn't genuine love between the two of you? Or what made you send him a message when you should have hidden from him until Coronet Prime went nova?"

Kirney realized she hadn't thought about it at all. Or rather: she had not allowed herself to think this far ahead. Myn was far away from her and their time together was limited to all too seldom visits of his. She was happy when he was there, but she always knew he'd have to go back to Rogue Squadron. The separation hurt, badly, and so her mind had closed off certain ideas in a special area, the future, that etheric concept of happiness that everybody seemed to strive for, her own hopes and wishes among them. Of course she thought of Myn every day, and most nights, wondering how he was and when she'd see him again. But now she realized she'd thrown herself into work, because she craved the respite from the melancholia which often overwhelmed her when she thought of him. Work kept her busy, work kept her mind focused on other things ... Which was one of the reasons she'd almost forgotten about the Midwinter holidays.  
But now Selan's offer opened up the wound again, the knowledge how lonely she really was dragged to the front of her mind. She realized that her ignorance of holidays, something she'd cultivated after her parents's execution, was a willful one, a means to ignore yet another reminder that she was alone in the galaxy. Holidays were festivals for families, times to spend together and to share the special closeness that only family ties could create and sustain. She didn't have that but craved it deep down inside.

"Come on," he said soothingly. "Give yourself a chance."

"I don't know." She lowered her head and stared at the tips of her boots. "Kolot isn't the most sociable person."

"Unlike you, eh?"

She looked up and saw him grin wickedly and his humor helped her to drive back the tide of negative emotions, too. "You just want to recruit me to play Preeni Pi for your grandnieces," she deadpanned.

A look of surprise flickered across his features. "Now that you mention it ..." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I think that's a great idea."

"_Not. A. Snowball's. __Chance. On. N'kllon._" Kirney was adamant. "I ain't going near anywhere such ridiculous a costume."

"Too bad." The wicked grin was back on his face. "You'd be a really pretty Preeni Pi."

Kirney swatted him good-naturedly. "Scoundrel," she groused and stifled her smile, but it was becoming harder. "You Corellians are all scoundrels and one worse than the other."

"It took you this long to figure out that fact?" Selan burst out laughing. "That ain't a secret we managed to keep from the galaxy, you know."

"I figured that one out long ago, thank you," she groused and finally lost the battle with her blossoming smile.

"Good. I'd have been disappointed to have such an oblivious daughter-in-law," Selan quipped. "That'd be bad for me 'cause an old man like me wants to pamper some grandchildren one day." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and laughed when Kirney flushed crimson.

"Devious, twisted son of a ..."

"Yup, that's me." He grinned smugly. "So ... will you come?"

She sighed. "I have to ask Kolot and if he refuses then no."

"No problem. Just tell him he can eat as much as he wants."

Kirney snorted. "Are you kidding? I just put him on half rations for the next week." They shared a laugh, but then a little frown stole its way onto her face. "So it's gonna be the whole family? You, Jaleela, your brother and sister-in-law, their kids and families, huh?"

"Nope." Selan looked somewhat relieved. "That particular gathering will be held two days later at my brother's. Tomorrow it's just you, Kolot, my wife and me ..." A sudden grin lit up his face. "And Jaleela's marvelous roasted avian. That's another Corellian tradition, you know. On the Holy Evening it's either roasted avian or fish, but I hate fish so we never have it."

Arching a perfectly shaped eyebrow she asked, "Is that going to be a Midwinter dinner or another lesson in Corellian customs?"

"Both. Especially if one is part of the other." He smiled. "So? Will you come?"

"Okay, okay," Kirney said and let out a resigned sigh. "You've worn me down."

"Good." He grinned again. "I expect you and your strange companions tomorrow fifteen hundred hours sharp." Giving her appearance a more thorough scrutiny he added, "But wear something else than a jumpsuit. Nothing too fancy, I don't want Jaleela forcing me to wear this awful suit again, but since it's a festive dinner we have to make the effort."

She snapped to attention and gave him a faultless salute. "Sir, yes, Sir!"

He returned the salute with utter seriousness and took the parcel from her. Then he said crisply, "Dismissed."

Both burst out laughing. Kirney waved her goodbye and left.

* * *

Kolot wasn't a happy Ewok. Not that she'd ever think of him as a particularly happy creature, but when she finally arrived at their tiny home he was definitively miffed. "Kirney late," he declared as she burst through the door.

"I'm not late," she disagreed. "The traffic is awful today."

He scowled, crossed his short arms and began tapping his right foot on the ground. "Kirney know we need to shop for food. No excuse."

"What's bitten you?" She frowned at him. "We still have ..." She shot a quick glance at the chrono on the wall in the kitchen. "More than an hour left. No need to panic."

"No time for discussion. We go," he growled and brushed past her.

A puzzled frown crept on her face. Even after two years he sometimes managed to confuse the Sith out of her. His moodswings were unpredictable and often downright nasty. _Moody astromech and moody Ewok. What a combination,_ she thought sourly and closed the door.  
Kolot was already waiting for her at the airspeeder. She almost expected another outburst, if he was in one of his moods he'd be insufferable for the rest of the day, but he remained quiet. That unnerved her a bit. A grumbling Kolot she could handle, but a silent one?

"Kolot sorry," he said all of a sudden. "No right to take out frustration on Kirney."

"It's not your fault," she soothed and kept her bewilderment from showing on her face.

"Still. Kolot no feel good about it." He scrunched his paws into fists in silent frustration.

"Get in," she ordered softly, deciding to change topics. "Or the shops will be closed and it's really a week of fasting for you."

The Ewok snorted. "What happened to quarter rations?"

"They're still looming over your head, furball," Kirney joked. "And the idea is getting more and more appealing."

"Cooling unit no lock. Kirney no means to enforce quarter rations." He grinned suddenly.

"Okay, that's it," she declared as she swung herself behind the controls of the speeder. "Myn's father invited us to dinner tomorrow, but when you're this snappy you'll stay behind."

"Ha! Kirney no can order Kolot to stay. If Kirney no want to go, Kolot will alone. What's for eats?"

She let out a bark of laughter. "You really do think with your stomach. And it'll be roasted avian."

"Good." He patted his midsection. "Kolot never say no to real food."

"You never say no to _any_ kind of food," she corrected sweetly. "That is your problem."

He remained silent and for a moment she feared he was in the middle of another moodswing so she dared a quick side glance. He, however, seemed to be thinking if the look of concentration on his face was anything to go by.

"If Kolot remembers right," he said after a little while, his tone contemplative, "custom says to bring along something to eat to dinner invitation."

She frowned at him. "Where did you hear that?"

"HoloNet." He shrugged. "Kirney know Kolot likes cooking shows."

"You like anything about food," she gibed and put her foot down on the accelerator to overtake a lumbering gravtruck in front of them.

"Kolot thinks should bring along something, too. Makes good impression."

"It's a good idea," she agreed. "But remember I'm helpless when it comes to formal cooking. So preparing something is out of question and I do not want to buy some instant stuff."

The Ewok nodded and pursed his lips. "How about wine?"

"Hmmm." The thought about it for a while, allowing the idea to take root in her mind. "You know," she finally said and flashed Kolot a small smile. "That isn't such a bad idea."

He let out a little satisfied grunt but made no further comment until they reached the supermarket.

*** * ***

"Thank you for helping me here," Jaleela said while she prepared the plucked and disemboweled avian.

Kirney chuckled, put the cream-filled bowl under the mixer and flipped a switch. "I'm not much of a help, I'm afraid. When it comes to real cooking I'm as helpless as a day-old pup."

Myn's mother looked up from her preparations and shot her a puzzled stare. "And how do you get along? I mean, I don't suppose Kolot can cook, can he?"

"No, he can't," Kirney laughed. "But he's a master of plundering the cooling unit. The food disappears with a speed which frightens me. I am beginning to think about installing a code-protected lock." She shook her head. "I never learned to cook, never had the time or saw the need to. We're out on business and away so often that we mostly eat in tapcafs at the spaceport. The few times we're at home it's quick and dirty instant food or we order in."

Jaleela sighed. "I see there's plenty of work left for me to do."

Kirney raised an eyebrow. "Care to elaborate that?"

"Any decent daughter-in-law has to know how to cook," the older woman declared and thrust the last herbs into the empty abdominal cavity of the avian. She stopped dead when Kirney flushed crimson. "Something the matter?"

"No, not really." Kirney sighed. "It's just your husband said something along the same lines when he invited me yesterday."

"Really?" Jaleela raised an eyebrow and grinned. "And what did my husband have to say?"

"That I have to learn a lot about Corellian customs." She looked at the older woman in exasperation. "And now you want to teach me some cooking skills. I feel like I'm being interviewed for a job."

Myn's mother chuckled. "What can I say? Parents always want the best for their kids, even when it pertains to their chosen lifemates." She tilted her head and her smile lost some of the intensity. "I hope we aren't pressuring you into something."

Kirney waved her concerns away. "It's okay. I just never gave the possibility much thought. Myn's off with Rogue Squadron and between worrying about him and work there's just no time left to think about possibilities for the future." She flicked the switch on the mixer again and removed the bowl with the now stirred cream. "I only realized this yesterday, but after my parents were executed I stubbornly ignored any kind of holiday, even my own birthdays, because they reminded me of what I'd lost, of how alone I was in the galaxy. And with Myn out with the Rogues most of the time I did the same, ignoring holidays, avoiding to think about the future and what I want." She flashed Jaleela a small sad smile. "It's easier this way, easier to deal with the separation."

The older woman gave her a gentle smile. "But if you have nothing to strive for, nothing to look forward to ... why bother living?"

That drew a chuckle. "That's the very same thing some people said to Myn after he'd lost it." Wreathing her face into a wry grin she added, "We're a matched pair, aren't we?"

"Oh yes." Jaleela's eyes twinkled with merriment. "There's an old saying: For every pot there's a matching lid."

Kirney shook her head in mock despair. "Another kitchen analogy? And there I thought I had successfully diverted you from trying to teach me some cooking skills."

"Not gonna happen." Myn's mother put her hands to her hips and flicked her braid back over her shoulder with a toss of her head. "And we better get started now."

Raising her hands in a defensive gesture Kirney inquired, "Wouldn't you rather have me do something with computers? Like slicing into the private journal of the Diktat's personal chef or _Nova Nova_'s secret recipes?"

Jaleela blinked. "You could do that?"

"I don't know," Kirney admitted with a shrug. "I haven't done any slicing since I set up the background for my new identity before I landed on Corellia."

"But you _could_ do that?"

"Perhaps." She hesitated, noting the strange gleam in Jaleela's eyes and felt her own widen. "Oh no. That was supposed to be a joke."

The older woman grinned. "I know. But it's a tempting thought. I mean you could tweak the recipe for the Diktat's favorite meal to give him a bad digestion for a week."

"And have him flog the poor chef in public?" She arched an eyebrow.

"You know," Jaleela said thoughtfully and frowned, "that is probably what Gallamby would do."

Kirney shook her head. "Ironic, isn't it? I have to flee from the New Republic because it considers me a traitor and have to seek refuge on a planet whose dictator is as much a petty tyrant as the Emperor had been."

The older woman narrowed her eyes. "You aren't trying to deflect my attention from cooking to politics, are you? No getting out of it, young lady."

The redhead sighed. "I surrender. You're just as single-minded as your son can be. That's unnerving."

"And don't you forget it," Myn's mother quipped. "Let's see if you've got potential in the kitchen."

"I doubt it very much," Kirney muttered and grimaced. "Flying starfighters into a cloud of TIEs, slicing the most secure computer systems or infiltrating a dangerous enemy force ... no problem. But cooking?" She let her shoulders sag in an exaggerated gesture of defeat. "Tattooine becoming a tropical sea world is more probable, I guess."

"Not under my expert tutelage," Jaleela said and let an edge creek into her voice. "No more attempts to deflect, Miss Slane. We have an avian which needs to be roasted."

"Better pray that I won't poison us in the process," Kirney muttered under her breath.

*** * ***


	3. Chapter 3

*** * ***

An hour later Selan found them still engrossed in making dinner. Kirney sat at the table, a bowl in her lap and another on the table in front of her, slicing her way through a load of mushrooms and cursing under her breath all the time.

"I guess we won't have to teach you how to curse like a Corellian," Selan remarked dryly. "Sounds like you already mastered that art."

Kirney paused her slicing and sent him a withering glare. "Having been exposed to Wraith Squadron has taught me everything I didn't need to know. And what I managed to forget Kolot taught me again."

Myn's father laughed lightly and walked over to his wife. "Yes, he is quite inventive. And vicious." He reached out, trying to dunk a finger into the dip she was preparing, but Jaleela swatted his hand away.

"Keep your dirty fingers out of the food," she chided and gave her husband a little shove.

"Hey," he complained and a pout formed on his face. "Someone needs to check if it's seasoned correctly."

Jaleela pointed at the door with her spoon. "Out!" When he didn't comply with her order she took a half-step in his direction and threatened, "Go now, or I'll have you chop onions for the rest of the evening."

Raising his hands he started walking backwards to the kitchen door. "Okay, okay. No need to bring out the gigawatt lasers and heavy mortars." Then he stopped and jerked his thumb at the large window. "By the way, have you taken a look outside recently? The clouds have dropped low and the sky is overcast. The weather forecast said there's a good chance that it'll start snowing in the evening."

Twisting around in her chair Kirney looked out of the window and saw that Selan was more than right. The sky, which had been clear until noon, was now dull with clouds and visibility had dropped to a few hundred meters. She squinted her eyes and tried to make out the skyline of downtown Coronet City but found that she couldn't.

_In a few hours visibility will be nil,_ she thought, ever the pilot. _Fog will develop and shroud everything. Flight Conditions will be horrible and Traffic Control will have their hands full with guiding ships in._

"Snow on Midwinter?" Jaleela gave a snort of disbelief but Kirney noted that her expression was wistful. "How probable is that? It'll stay dry if we're lucky. If not it'll rain. That's all."

"How little faith ye have," her husband gibed. "It's Midwinter for Sith's sake. Be positive!"

Jaleela tilted her head and gave him a patient stare. "And when was the last time we had snow on Midwinter?"

"That was ..." He trailed off and frowned in concentration. "That must have been ..."

"Almost exactly twenty years ago," she said matter-of-factly and put her hands on her hips again. "Myn was eight and had never seen snow before. He was so fascinated by it that he caught a really bad cold and had to remain in bed for a week afterwards."

"He acted irresponsibly as a kid?" Kirney exaggerated her disbelief and widened her eyes. "I thought he came into the galaxy fully developed at the age of ten."

"We haven't shown you _those_ holos, yet," Jaleela said wryly and sent her a wink.

"And he'd be mad at you if he knew you still have them." Selan narrowed his eyes at his wife. "You told him they were gone."

"I lied," she said simply and gave him a sweet smile. It died, however, when her husband sent her a hard stare and she returned the favor in kind.

Kirney watched the developing staring match half fascinated and half horrified. When she remembered the staring matches between Kolot and Tonin, and the time these could take, she decided to be brave and intervene. She cleared her throat and raised a hand, like a good student would to attract the attention of the teacher. Two identical smiles turned her way and she suddenly felt like a little Bantha cub facing two hungry Taoparis.

"Yes, dear?" Jaleela's voice was dripping with fake geniality.

Kirney flashed them a smile that seemed to beg for forgiveness. "What's the deal about snow on Midwinter?"

Myn's father cleared his throat and drew himself up to his full height. "That pertains," he said like a teacher would when lecturing a dull-witted student and even raised an index finger at a lecturing angle, "to the emotional ideal of Midwinter. Every Corellian has a personal ideal for the holidays, but for most of us snow is part of it."

"It goes back to the first settlers," his wife added. "The first settlements were established in the northeastern plains and they were snowed in each winter. With the environment so unfriendly for a good five months people placed a heavy emphasis on Midwinter to break up the monotony, because they couldn't leave their houses for days because of the raging blizzards."

Kirney's face remained blank, a telltale sign of her incomprehension, so Selan asked, "Have you ever seen snow?"

"No." The redhead shook her head. "The only snow on Coruscant was in the glacier region and I never ventured there."

"And afterwards?"

"Never." Kirney shrugged. "My assignments were either tropical, completely urban or in space."

The wistful expression was back on Jaleela's face. "Once you've seen it snowing you'll understand," she said with conviction.

"Ah." She didn't really understand, yet as she reminded herself, but she was beginning to see why a snow-covered landscape on Midwinter was such an issue for the Donos family. Coronet City was a nice place, located in a zone of mild climate and few weather extremes, but snow in winter was a rare thing for its inhabitants due to the geography. A number of mountain ranges formed a semi-circle around the city, running from the north all the way to the south-east in a distance of about a hundred klicks. If air currents chased clouds towards it from the polar region they would be pushed against the northern or eastern flanks of the mountains. They'd have to drop their watery cargo in the form of thick snow flakes there and cross the mountains's crests but the plain around the capital city would miss out. "I see."

"I doubt it," Selan muttered dryly and moved back to his wife's side. He gave her a kiss on the cheek but his left hand reached around her form to dunk a finger into the dip.

"Selan!"

He withdrew hastily and licked the cream from his finger as if taunting her. Then he left the room and the two women heard him laughing. But his laughter stopped abruptly and his raised voice resounded through the first floor. "Kolot! Where are the cookies? I just refilled that bowl."

Kirney just bit her lip while Jaleela snorted with laughter. "At least someone appreciates them," the older woman said wryly and sent the redhead a wink.

Kirney smiled, shook her head and returned to slicing mushrooms.

*** * ***

Yet another hour later Myn's mother finally ushered her out of the kitchen. Kirney moved into the living room and found Selan and Kolot sprawled on the couch, watching the simulcast of the annual Midwinter Slingball match between the teams from CPD's Starfighter Command and Ground Forces.

"Left flank! The left is totally open!" Selan gestured at the holoprojector. "No, don't ..." He groaned as the pass to the right was intercepted by the other team. "Where did they find that guy? He's blinder than a Givin frozen in carbonite!"

"Although I bet he's a lot quicker than you these days," she drawled with a challenging grin and moved to sit on the couch as well. "Move over."

Kolot moved to comply while Selan assumed a tragic expression. "It's not nice to hit a guy where it hurts."

"I haven't played Sabacc with you, yet," she quipped and grabbed one of the ale tins from the low table. "What's the score?"

"Fifteen to eight for the snubfighter jockeys," he grunted in obvious displeasure and sent a scowl her way. "You _are_ supporting ground forces, aren't you?"

Kirney laughed. "I've been a snubfighter jockey, remember? You must know where my loyalities lie."

Suddenly a piercing whistle came from the speakers and the cam zoomed in on the wildly gesturing referee. A cloud of players in the red of the Ground Forces clustered around him, obviously displeased by a decision he'd made.

"That was never ever a foul," Selan groaned and sat back, covering his eyes with a hand.

"Kolot thinks this sport strange," the Ewok spoke up. "Makes no sense. Kolot greatly prefers watching bouts of Teräs Käsi, K'thara or Echani."

"That's just your violent nature," Kirney kidded and took a sip of her ale.

The Ewok gave a snort. "Combat sports much easier. Two contenders and who remains on feet wins. Easy."

"You are scaring me, Kolot," Myn's father remarked and tossed down the remnants of his ale. "Here we are, in our living room, watching the Midwinter Slingball match and you're thinking of the most violent of sports. What happened to the festival of peace and love?"

Kolot simply flashed him a toothy grin.

The holoprojector winked out. Three faces frowned at the no longer functional device.

"What the ...?" Selan grabbed the remote control and stabbed the power button. Nothing happened.

"Maybe set to timed switch off," Kolot said.

Myn's father shook his head. "Then it should have reawakened when I hit that button here." He pressed his thumb on the power button again and again. Nothing. The turned the remote control around and pried open a small cover to reveal the power cells. He frowned ... The indicator light was green, showing almost full power.

Kirney cleared her throat and elbowed him lightly, jerking her head at something to their left.

Jaleela was standing near the passage into the main corridor, lazily tossing up a small piece of machinery. She said nothing and stared at the other occupants of the room wearing an expression of strained patience.

Selan narrowed his eyes at the little device in his wife's hands. "That's one of the fuses from the main fuse box," he stated with conviction. He darted a quick glance at the holoprojector. His eyes widened in disbelief. "You didn't ..."

"I did." Jaleela shoved the fuse into a pocket and crossed her arms. "The avian will be done in a little while. So I think it's time for the ryshcate, isn't it?"

"But the Slingball match," Selan said and made a helpless gesture at the non-functional holoprojector.

"Is of no importance." Jaleela raised an eyebrow at her husband. "The Ground Forces Team lost last year, the one before and the one before that. Why should they win now?"

Myn's father assumed an expression of wounded pride and Kirney had to hide a smile behind her hand.

"Allright." Myn's mother clapped her hands. "Kolot, Kirney – set the table. Dishes and glasses are in there, cutlery is in the drawer below. Selan – kitchen. Caf. Now!"

Three persons scrambled from the couch and hastily moved to comply with her order for Jaleela's tone hadn't left any room for objections. And something told them that her wrath was not something to be invoked out of sheer carelessness.

Satisfied that her instructions were being followed with utmost precision and speed Jaleela turned around and moved back into the kitchen. The ryshcate was almost ready and she'd have to take it out of the oven before it became dry and too crispy.

When she returned to the living room carrying the ceremonial Corellian cake she had to hide a smile at the sight that greeted her. The table was set as custom dictated with dishes, cups, glasses and cutlery laid out in an immaculate pattern. A bowl on the left contained a collection of cookies while the central part of the table was empty, obviously left bare for the plate with the ryshcate, and steam was rising from cups filled with the caf her husband had made. But what roused her amusement were the three people sitting at the table: hands folded in their laps, faces showing a wide-eyed expression of innocence ... They looked so much like obedient if somewhat impatient little children awaiting the signal that the time for gift giving had come.

Kolot sniffed appreciatively. "Smells good."

"Why, thank you," Jaleela drawled and put down the plate. "You two are aware of the customs involving ryshcate, aren't you?"

Kolot and Kirney both nodded, but the Ewok's gaze was firmly fixed on the lightly steaming cake whereas the redheaded woman kept up her expression of mock innocence.

"Good. I'd have hated having to explain those right now." She held out a hand to her husband, palm up, and felt a knife placed in it. When she glanced at him she noted that he sported the same expression of fake innocence she saw on Kirney's face and she had to bite her tongue to keep the smile off her face.

_Scoundrels,_ she groused inwardly but even her inner accent betrayed her amusement.

She swiftly cut the ryshcate into several pieces and then proceeded to deposit one on each of the plates on the table. She remained standing and took her own piece of ryshcate, rising it upwards like a glass for a toast. The others remained seated but also picked up theirs.

"We share this ryshcate," she said the traditional words solemnly," like we share our celebration of family. We love all members of it, and we think of them, wherever they are at the moment. To family."

"To family," three other voices said in unison before the four of them took a bite of the spicy cake.

Kirney was surprised that saying the words Jaleela had chosen didn't bother her. Quite the opposite – saying them felt good. The Donos family had accepted her in their midst, regardless of her past and what she'd done to their son, but something in her had kept her from totally accepting their support and love. She guessed it was a remnant of the guilt she still felt for her actions on behalf of Imperial Intelligence, or maybe an underlying fear of becoming too close to people. Having been cast out by the New Republic and losing the stability and support of the deep friendships she'd entered there had been a traumatic experience. Suddenly she'd found herself drifting, without anchors, without direction, and had been forced to start building herself a life from scratch. She had made herself a name in the galactic transport business but she'd shied away from the personal aspect of life, had refrained from building herself a real home.

_If I have to move on I better have not much to leave behind_, she'd always told herself. _Don't get emotionally attached. Don't let yourself get hurt again._

But right now she didn't want to be that kind of stranger anymore. She smiled slightly as the spicy flavor of the ryshcate washed away the last remnants of the walls she'd placed around her heart. She savored the crisp of the vweilu nut splinters and the smooth taste of Brandy, swallowed and felt a sense of well-being emerge in her guts that had nothing to do with the punch of Corellian Brandy.

It was the feeling of belonging, of being a part of a group who accepted her totally, unconditionally. Her head swam slightly and she fought to keep the tears from falling as her mind caught up with the enormity of the emotion ... and suddenly Corellia became her _home_ as opposed to just the planet she lived on. It was such simple a change, yet so dramatic in its consequences. _Yes_, she decided quietly. _No more dwelling. Time to start living._

Suddenly Kolot rose, which meant he moved to stand on the chair he'd been sitting on, and turned his gaze on the elderly couple. "Kolot not most eloquent person, but would like to say something. Kolot greatly appreciates invitation today," he said somberly. When he darted a glance at Kirney a corner of his mouth rose in a very human smirk. "And not just for the food."

The four of them chuckled at that.

"Since Kirney freed Kolot from _Iron Fist_ most people saw Kolot as curiosity, as source for amusement. Few looked deeper, most saw only cute Ewok." He shrugged. "Kolot first bothered by lack of respect but now Kolot no longer angry, just disappointed. How can people really know others when not looking beyond stereotypes?" He shook his head. "Acceptance and respect Kolot found here very refreshing. Donos family treated Kolot like individual, not like stuffed animal come to life. Kolot very grateful for it and honored to know humans just as accepting as Kirney."  
There was a momentary pause as he seemed to think how to phrase the following. "Kolot also grateful for the total acceptance given to Kirney despite past. Donos family not judged her because of what Kirney did. This rare gift and Kolot knows Kirney cherishes it. But Kolot also no could help but notice Kirney hold back." He waved a paw at Tonin, who sat quietly in a corner but kept his photoreceptors focused on the table and was probably recording the whole thing. "Tonin told Kolot of past for Kirney would not speak about it. So yes, Tonin and Kolot do more than arguing." He flashed them a grin and even the astromech chirped what sounded like an imitation of a human giggle. "Kolot realized that Kirney not made many friends here. Oh, has some, but inconsequential ones. Not real friendships. Kolot thinks Kirney afraid of putting down roots here, afraid of growing close to other people and being forced to leave behind when forced to flee again. Kolot no thinks this healthy, Kolot thinks Kirney should let go of fears and start living again. Make friends, real ones, and accept open arms of Donos family." He sat down again.

"Very profound," Selan said with a nod at the Ewok. "You're showing more empathy than most people possess. And I think you're entirely right."

Kirney darted glances to Selan to Jaleela to Kolot and back. Was she really that transparent?

Jaleela gave her a gentle smile. "I agree with Kolot and my husband. You have kept people at a distance, dear. Even us and we know about your past, because you and our son told us. I understand that you have to keep the secret, but does that really mean you have to keep yourself apart from others?"

"No, it doesn't," Kirney admitted with a long sigh. "When I had to flee from the New Republic Fleet at Kidriff I left behind everything that mattered something to me: my friends, camaraderie, sense of belonging, trust ... I had nothing left, nothing but my skills and my intention to harm Zsinj as much as I could before I died.  
"I didn't die, though, and got a second chance at living a good life. But still the loss of so many things haunted me and deep down I was afraid of letting others get this close to me again for I knew that there may come the time when my secret comes out and I have to flee again." She gave a small helpless shrug. "But you _are_ correct. Few people get a second chance in life and I'd waste mine if I kept isolating myself. So let me add my thanks to inviting us over today. And for setting my head straight," she added with a smirk that was directed at her Ewok chief pilot.

"Good." Kolot looked pleased with himself. "Now can Kolot have another piece of ryshcate?"

The three humans burst out laughing. Some things apparently never changed.

*** * ***


	4. Chapter 4

*** * ***

Darkness had fallen and Kirney stood gazing out of the large window, sipped on her wine and enjoyed the warmth from the heating grid spreading through her feet. Her stomach gurgled appreciatively as it began digesting dinner and she smiled slightly to herself. Myn's father had been right – Jaleela's roasted avian was truly marvelous. Her mouth watered at the memory of the taste of the fine meat and all those delicious side dishes. When was the last time she'd eaten this well?

_When Myn took me to the small corellian restaurant,_ she answered her own question and gave a sigh of satisfaction. _It's the love that went into making the food_, she concluded. _You can really taste it._

As her mind drifted back to their first real date – _First date after first kiss_, she thought and felt a lazy grin spread on her lips. _Wouldn't want to do anything by the book, would we?_ – she remembered the elderly couple running the place. _She_ had kept a solid grip on the small number of waitresses, directing them with the silent efficiency of a royal court's majordomo and the warmth of a well-meaning grandmother. _He_, on the other hand, had been the master of the kitchen, the chef. He'd been proud of his profession, of his art, and a perfectionist in everything. And despite his drive for perfectionism Kirney had seen the love between these two people in each word, in each gesture. They had been proud of their small restaurant and that pride had translated into excellent food and a warm and inviting atmosphere.

She stared out into the darkness, but her eyes didn't see the here and now but were turned inwardly, watching pictures which had burned themselves into her memory. It took her a while to realize that she was indeed staring at something outside the window … Her eyes widened slightly.

Selan put another log into the fireplace and hit a switch disguised as ornament. There was a soft hiss of effusing gas and a spark and suddenly flames engulfed the dry wood. "Ah," he sighed and rubbed his hands. "That's better."

Kirney glanced at him. "So this is snow?" she asked and gestured at the window.

"Snow?" He was up and by her side in an instant.

Outside the clouds had dropped another notch and shrouded the world in a haze of grey. Thick white flakes were drifting down from the sky, gently, slowly and silently. At first there were few of them, but the longer they stared the thicker the snowfall became. Soon they had difficulties even making out the outlines of the fence separating their garden from the narrow road.

"Yes." Selan's voice was almost reverent. "That's snow. It's amazing, isn't it?"

She gave him a curious stare. It would have never occurred to her that the tough former soldier had such a soft spot for winter weather. Although, as she had to admit quietly, the falling flakes were really something.

He smiled at her somewhat doubtful expression. "It'll be better in daylight, once the land is covered by a thick layer of snow. This," he said and gestured at the world outside, "is just the beginning."

Kirney heard the conviction in his voice and decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. "I believe you."

Selan's eyes took on a far-away gleam. "When you look at a white landscape … it's just more peaceful. The snow covers any imperfections and hides them from the naked eye. And it mutes sounds. The world is more quiet, more relaxed. The hectic of everyday life just isn't there. I love that more than the most exotic tropical beach."

"So this is your perfect ideal of Midwinter, isn't it?"

"Not quite," he said wistfully and gave her a small sad smile.

She knew what he was getting at and the thought put a damper on her feeling of well-being. "I miss him, too," she muttered quietly.

Selan turned to look out of the window again. "This is the fifth Midwinter without him and although he's never far from our thoughts we miss him even more on holidays like this." He darted a quick glance over his shoulder, at the passage into the corridor, before he returned his gaze to the falling snow. "It's even worse for Jaleela. Myn's our only child and when we meet up with my brother's kids and grandkids she cannot help the melancholy overcoming her. She tries to gild it with forced cheer, but I know being apart from him hurts her. And then there are her nephew and nieces, and their kids, so the separation is being rubbed right into her face."

Kirney picked up her glass of wine from the windowsill and took a sip. "That's why I worked so hard to ignore holidays, you know. For years they reminded me of how alone I was in the galaxy so I did my utmost to forgo holidays. _Out of sight, out of mind._"

"I know." He put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "But it's about time that changed, isn't it?"

She grinned. "With you reminding me every five minutes how could I possibly get around it?"

He chuckled and moved to the dinner table to pour himself a glass of the red wine Kirney had brought along. When he joined her at the window again he took a sip and sighed appreciatively. "Good wine. It was a nice idea to bring it along."

"It was Kolot's idea," she admitted with a sheepish smile. "He said it's customary to bring along something to a dinner invitation. And since me and cooking aren't exactly on the same wavelength he suggested some decent wine."

"He's quite thoughtful, your little furry friend."

"He's always thoughtful when it pertains to his stomach," she snorted.

"Everyone's got at least one vice," Selan said wryly. "I've got caramel candy, my wife has these corny holo soaps, my brother's into Corellian brandy from the Old Republic … and Kolot has his appetite."

Kirney's answering smile was wistful. "And my weakness is your son."

"Don't you think that's more of a strength?" Selan asked warmly, took a sip and turned to stare out of the window again. "When was the last time you saw him?"

She didn't have to think to know the answer. She'd been counting the days ever since. "Ten months, sixteen days and eight hours ago."

"That's exact, I guess."

"Yeah." She rubbed her face wearily. "We met in a spaceport cantina on Sluis Van, shortly after Thrawn had wrought havoc in the shipyards. It was an hour at the most and I still don't know how he got permission to be there at all." The ghost of a wicked grin appeared on her lips and she gave him a glance from the corner of her eyes. "Didn't even manage to work on those grandkids you've been talking about."

Selan, who had been taking a sip of his wine, choked and spilled the ruby liquid all over his shirt, pants and the carpet. His eyes watered and he coughed trying to evict the offending fluid from his windpipe.

Kirney snickered, secretly pleased that she'd managed to shake him up a bit. "Did I say something wrong?" she inquired sweetly.

"I didn't need to know that," he finally croaked. Spreading his arms he scowled at his sullied clothes and the wet splotch on the carpet and mumbled, "Jaleela is going to kill me."

"Well, then you better go and change," she suggested slyly. "Might postpone your termination."

He gave a hiss of exasperation. "You are crazy. When you make that final jump someone's gotta be on standby with a shovel to clobber that loose mouth of yours. Otherwise it might not shut up."

Kirney grinned at him. It felt good to be able to banter with someone else this way, no holds barred, no fear of letting something slip. How had she been able to live without it? "I've been a member of the galaxy's undoubtedly craziest snubfighter squadron and I've got an Ewok as co-pilot. Crazy is a given, me thinks."

Selan let out a snort of amusement and left the room.

Kirney smiled and shook her head as she turned back towards the window. The snowfall had intensified. Thick flakes were drifting down in an endless stream, already forming a thin white layer on the bushes and hedges and shrouding the outside world in a white and grey haze.

_You should get going_, the analytical part of her mind spoke up. _Before it gets worse. Visibility is already lousy. You don't want to risk a speeder accident, do you?_

Kirney frowned at the thought. She felt so comfortable here for there was a warmth that her own apartment was lacking and that had nothing to do with the fireplace or the heating grids. She felt reluctant to leave so early.

_Ask if you can stay here tonight,_ another voice suggested meekly. _They won't say no._

A sudden droidish squeal of indignation jolted her out of her reverie. She turned to look at Tonin and Kolot who had been silently playing with Selan's Dejarik board and saw Kolot bang a furry fist against the astromech's domed top.

"Kolot no cheat. This move right."

Tonin squawked sharply and powered up his holoprojector. Characters appeared in mid-air, illegible from where Kirney stood, but it seemed to be a longer text. The droid scrolled down and highlighted a certain paragraph.

Kolot scowled.

"Can't you two stop bickering just for one day?" Kirney turned around and crossed her arms. "It's Midwinter and we are guests. Behave appropriately."

"Kolot no cheat," the Ewok repeated forcefully. "No knew this move not allowed."

"Okay. So you made a mistake. What's the problem?"

Tonin chirped a reply, his answer replacing the exerpt of the Dejarik rules he'd shown before.

Kirney narrowed her eyes. "What kind of language is this, Squirt? We're not in a Spaceport cantina. Behave or I'll switch you off for a while." She pointed at the Dejarik board. "So, if Kolot's last move was not regular he must undo it and make a new one. And no more arguing!"

Kolot hit the undo button with a sigh and even the astromech's hoot was subdued.

Kirney hid a smirk as she turned her attention back towards the world outside the window. The two of them were really something. A sudden movement on the other side of the fence surrounding the garden caught her eye. She squinted and tried to make out more than the dim outline of a person she'd spotted coming down the road but the snow obscured any details. She couldn't make out more than a grey something, almost like a ghost in the night. Her curiosity spiked as the person opened the small door in the fence and entered the Donos estate. She felt her eyes widen when the spark of recognition shot through her mind. She let out a piercing whoop of joy and dashed out of the living room, yanked open the front door and ran out to throw herself at him.

At her sudden exclamation of joy Kolot and Tonin had looked up from their game. They stared after her, puzzlement evident on the Ewok's features, then they looked at each other.

Tonin tootled a question.

"No idea." Kolot gave a shrug and rose. "We go look?"

The astromech beeped his agreement.

Just as they entered the corridor the doors to the kitchen and bedroom opened and Myn's parents appeared. Both exchanged a puzzled glance, then they turned to look at Kirney's companions. "What was that?"

Kolot shrugged again. "We playing. Then Kirney make strange noise and run outside. No idea why." He pointed at the open front door. "We better go look."

As soon as they stepped across the threshold Selan felt his wife grab his hand and squeeze it tightly. "Myn!" That was all she said but it was enough.

Selan briefly tightened his own hold on her hand and then put his arm around her shoulder to bring her even closer. He gave a tremolous smile as he watched the passionate reunion of his son and the woman who loved him. _Now it is a perfect Midwinter_, he thought and felt immense satisfaction flood his guts.

"He's home," Jaleela croaked weakly, still clutching her husbands hand and cried tears of joy. "He's really home."

There was a sudden sigh coming from below and Selan focused his gaze on the Ewok. "Kolot thinks will have to sleep on couch tonight," Kolot said with a touch of resignation colouring his voice.

Myn's father grinned at the slightly disgruntled look that crossed the Ewok's features. "You'll survive." He looked back at the still kissing couple and a wicked gleam entered his eyes. "Hey you two," he shouted. "Get a room!"

Jaleela chuckled as the two sprang apart, but it turned into a squeak of surprise when Myn let go of Kirney and ran over to hug his mother. "Let me breath," she gasped and laughed when he whirled her around. "Put me down you overgrown womprat!"

Myn laughed but complied with her order and turned to his father. The two men embraced tightly. "Sorry for not being here earlier," he apologized. "But my flight was diverted to a smaller spaceport further south because of the weather. I spent the last hour in an overcrowded MagLev train."

"Don't apologize," Jaleela shushed him. "You're here. That's all that counts. Are you hungry?"

"You mean Kolot left something?" Kirney asked in mock amazement as she moved to Myn's side.

"No fair." The Ewok growled in indignation. "Kolot not _that_ bad."

The humans laughed but Myn shook his head at his mother, his gaze apologetic. "No, I did eat something at the Spaceport. I was too hungry." He looked at Kirney, she looked back … and suddenly the world outside ceased to exist.

Selan and Jaleela smiled warmly at the couple and then exchanged a knowing grin. "Allright you two," Myn's mother mock chided them and pointed up the stairway. "As my husband said go get a room."

Myn flashed her a sheepish smile, took Kirney's hand and dragged her into the house and upstairs.

When they were gone Selan chuckled lightly, his gaze fastened on the closed door one story above. "You think they'll like what we've done to the room?"

His wife raised an eyebrow. "I somehow doubt they'll have the presence of mind to even notice."

He nodded and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "But something tells me they'll appreciate the new big bed we bought."

Jaleela burst out laughing and moved into the house, allowing him to close the front door behind them.

Kolot looked at Tonin. "Kolot will never understand humans."

The astromech hooted in agreement. That was something they had in common.

*** * ***

It was just after dawn next morning and the sun was squinting over the horizon. The thick layer of clouds which had brought snow last night was gone. It was replaced by a bright blue sky. The countryside was a picturesque study of peace, coated in a thick white layer of snow. Kirney stood watching, mesmerized by the sight of a snowed in Coronet City and hugged the robe to herself.

_He's right_, she mused, thinking of Selan's reverence as he'd described this picture just a day ago. _It's something very special._

A smile drifted on her face as she heard the soft rustle of the covers and Myn's quiet footfalls behind her. He moved to stand behind her and put his hands around her waist.

"Good morning," he murmured and placed a kiss on her neck.

Kirney relaxed into his embrace and shuddered at the tingle of pleasure that raced up her spine. "Morning," she whispered back.

They stood in comfortable silence and just watched the world outside.

"It's amazing," Myn finally murmured into her ear. "I just love that sight."

"Like father, like son," Kirney said and chuckled.

"True," he admitted and briefly tightened his hold on her. "I still remember when our family went to celebrate Midwinter in one of the wintersport resorts in the mountains. It was the year when my father retired from the military. I had never seen anything so beautiful. It was … _magical_."

"Waxing poetry on me, flyboy?" she asked with a wry smile.

Myn shrugged. "Just stating the truth." He dropped another kiss on her neck and watched fascinated as she shuddered slightly. "Nice robe."

"You've got a similar one … over there," she muttered and jerked her head at the front of the room. "Your parents must have bought them."

"How thoughtful of them. I like it."

Kirney arched an eyebrow and twisted her neck to look at him. "The robe or the new décor?"

"Both." He chuckled softly. "I must admit I prefer the new furniture to my old. It has certain … _uses_."

Kirney felt her cheeks heat up as she remembered some of ways they'd used it last night. "Perv," she giggled and elbowed him lightly. "I never thought you could be like this. Have you been taking lessons from Face?"

Myn gave a shrug. "Nah, haven't seen him to take lessons. What can I say? You bring out the best in me."

"Or the worst." Letting her head drop back against his shoulder she asked, "How long can you stay?"

He tightened his hold on her again. "How do you feel about forever?"

Kirney stiffened. Surely he hadn't said what she thought he had. She twisted around in his embrace and stared at his face. "_You quit?_" she inquired, her voice rising disbelievingly. "Why?"

Myn smiled down at her. "Many reasons. First and foremost ..." He leaned his forehead against hers. "You."

Her stomach did somersaults at that and what had to be the galaxy's greatest swarm of flutterbugs rose for a jaunt through her innards. "You're sweet," she whispered and brushed her lips across his. "And the other reasons?"

He wiped the smile off his face and stared out of the window. "I was tired of war. I just felt my part was done and someone else could take over." He sighed. "With Thrawn on the loose and all that I didn't feel it, but as soon as I'd heard he was dead I felt a fatigue that no amount of sleep could cure. I was so sick of the military, of the bases here and there, of being tossed around by orders which often enough make no sense ..."

Kirney gazed at him shrewdly. "But there's more."

He briefly tightened his arms around her waist again. "You know me well, love. Yes, there is more." He looked down at his feet. "Thrawn's attacks hurt the Republic very badly, Kirney. We lost a huge number of good men and women. Rogue Squadron didn't, for which I am grateful, but all other squadrons we flew with were missing pilots left and right. I thought we'd get a break from fighting, from death. I hoped I could get away to see you, but then the Council cooked up this operation against Krennel. I was irritated when I got wind of it. It didn't make sense to me to go after him at that time. And when Wedge briefed us on it, and the reasons why the Hegemony was chosen, my irritation grew." He removed his hands from around her and pushed one through his messed-up hair. "It had politics written all over it. They chose Krennel's little realm because he was the weakest of the Imperial warlords. Make no mistake, Kirney – Krennel was a nasty piece of work and deserved all that he got and then some, but I couldn't help feeling put off by the whole affair. They sent us against him to get a message across to the more powerful warlords. The Council sent people to their deaths for their political games."

Kirney took his hands in their own and gave them a squeeze of support. "What did you do?"

The smile he gave her was weary. "What do you think? I kept my mouth shut and behaved like the good little soldier I was supposed to be. I followed my orders but in the back of my mind a voice was whispering _'What would you do if Corellia was targeted?'_. I was beginning to wonder what I'd do if they would. I mean, the Diktat is a little tyrant, too. What stops the Inner Council from moving against him? All under the banner of democracy, freedom and racial equity," he drawled sarcastically. He sighed again. "I couldn't talk about this with anyone. They didn't think like that. I tried to bring it up when we were watching Krennel's little speech over the Holonet, but they nearly bit off my head. You know what that made me feel? Disloyal."

"So you decided to quit once this mess was over," she guessed.

He nodded. "Yeah. I mean we weren't attempting to liberate worlds from under the imperial yoke, not worlds that wanted to be liberated, that is. Liinade Three or Ciutric were no Toprawa. I felt the New Republic had set a dangerous precedent when it attacked the Ciutrian Hegemy under the smokescreen of bringing Krennel to justice. What will keep them from choosing targets at their leisure and use similarly weak reasons for doing so?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"Exactly." He nodded again but then the weary expression was back on his face. "And then came Distna."

Kirney's face took on a pinched look as she tried to ignore the memories of the agony she'd felt at the news of Rogue Squadron's supposed death.

Myn saw it and took her in his arms again. "Shh. It's okay. I'm here."

Kirney let go of her self-control and let out the sobs she'd been holding back. Myn stroked her hair and whispered soothing words of nothing while she rode the tidal wave of remembered sorrow and pain.

Myn held her tight and waited for the sobs to abate. When they did he resumed his explanation. "It ate at me to know you must think me dead. I couldn't get a message to you, there was no way to do it and I did not want to risk betraying you to the Imps. So I concentrated on my job and on staying alive, because I wanted to see you again. But my misery was about to become even worse."

Kirney withdrew slightly but kept her own arms around him. Blinking her tears away she looked him in the face. "Why that?"

He took a deep breath. "You remember Gavin Darklighter and Asyr Sei'lar? The young man from Tattooine and the female Bothan?"

Narrowing her eyes in concentration she thought back to the short amount of time she'd spent around Rogue Squadron. "I think so. Aren't they together?"

Myn nodded. "They were. Asyr was killed at Distna."

"Oh."

"Gavin was devastated by her death. I don't think I've seen him smile since that day." He drew a deep breath and mentally steeled himself for the little thermal detonator he was about to drop on her. "And when they put us into quarantine aboard _Lusankya_ ... He came to me."

"_What?_"

"He asked me how I had dealt with your death." Myn shook his head. "How was I supposed to answer that one? I mean I already felt like Bantha slobber with my doubts about the motives of the Republic, my feelings of disloyality and then he comes and yanks away the ground underneath my feet with a question like that. I knew I had to lie to him. I couldn't tell him the truth."

"And what did you do?"

"I tried to deflect his questions. I said our situations weren't comparable as the two of them had been together for years, had talked of marriage and adopting kids. But he wouldn't hear any of it, so I fed him a load of nonsense. I told him a tale about how it hurt at first and how I failed to see a future, how it became better with time and how I learned to live with the fact. And the worst thing about it was ... it seemed to _help_ him!" Pain shadowed his pale blue eyes as he looked at her. "I had to lie to a squadmate, a friend, a man who had just lost the woman he loved. I wanted nothing more than get away so that I didn't have to look Gavin in the eyes again. Didn't work, though."

Kirney frowned at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"My single greatest fault," Myn quipped half-heartedly. "I can't say no. When I handed over my letter of resignation Wedge asked me to stay until he got the replacements he needed. With the deaths of Asyr, Khe-Jeen Sle and Lyrr Zatoq and then my resignation Rogue Squadron would be short a full flight. So I let him talk me into staying … Big mistake." He grinned ruefully. "Took him three months to find enough people to make good the losses. At the end I was close to strangling him with my bare hands. Good thing self-control is one of my strengths, eh?"

Kirney's tone was dry. "Yeah, it would have been most unfortunate to spend a few years in the brig for assaulting your commanding officer just before retiring."

He chuckled. "Wes was convinced I was having another of these bouts of insanity coming, because I was so moody. He and Hobbie tried to get me drunk on more than one occasion _'to help me relax'_ as they put it. In the end I had to enlist some of the Rogues to get them back to their quarters without Wedge or Tycho noticing. They were already curious why the two of them were complaining about headaches so often."

"And you didn't indulge?"

"Moderately." A wicked grin crept on his lips. "I figured someone had to stay sober enough to be the voice of reason. I mean we're talking about Wes Janson here."

"Which, in itself, is enough of an explanation," she drawled but softened it with a smile. "So you're really free now?"

"Not quite." He smiled at the look of confusion that crossed her features. "There's this woman who has my heart in custody. Gotta ask her."

"Oh, really?" She arched an eyebrow. "Do I know her?"

He squinted his eyes in mock concentration and reached out for the belt keeping her robe closed. "I think so. I'd say you resemble her quite a bit." He brought down his head and kissed the soft pulse in the hollow of her throat. "Although I must say you're a lot prettier."

"Oh," came the somewhat breathless reply. Where had the flyboy learned these tricks? "You're sure?"

"Absolutely." He finally managed to untie the knot and the silken garment dropped to the ground. "So what do you think?"

"About what?"

"Want me to stay here?" He kissed her forehead.

"Perhaps." Her lips curved into a sultry smile. "If you can come up with a good reason."

"Got several," he whispered before kissing her thoroughly. When they parted, breathless and flushed, he swept her off her feet and carried her back to the bed. "Let me provide a demonstration."

And he proceeded to do just that. Later, when she snuggled into him under the covers, Kirney gave a small content smile. Celebrating Midwinter with Myn's parents had turned out to be much more pleasant than she'd thought. If all holidays would provide such pleasant surprises maybe getting used to celebrating them again wouldn't be that difficult.

*** * ***

**The End**

*** * ***


End file.
